Thanksgiving

I give thanks. I give thanks for my family, my friends - both new and old, my talents, my co-workers, my job. I give thanks for all of the amazing things that have yet to happen in my life but I know will. I give thanks for all the amazing things that have happened in my life - with or without intending for them to happen. I give thanks for my health. I give thanks for the gifts I am given every day by amazing people... I give thanks for the love I receive - and the love I am able to give out. I give thanks for the air I breathe. I give thanks to you... the grand universe.

Falling into Like.

Have you ever fallen into like? Some of the kids I work with make me laugh when they say they are in love with some random actor - funnier still is that they mention the character and not the actual actor's name. "I'm in love with Edward." Oh boy.

Well, I've fallen into like. I don't know the person enough to use that other 4-letter "L" word - and being a 4-letter "L" word myself, I know the importance of steering clear of that other one until I know it is truly that. But "like" like is something I don't fear falling into because you can't be disappointed with "like".

There's also a difference between the "Like" and the "Crush." Let me explain this thought process. When you have a crush, it's usually someone you don't know all that well, necessarily. Someone who you find physically or mentally attractive, sometimes both - you start crushing. Often the crush gets crushed when you get to actually know that person... sometimes the crush becomes 'like'.

I have a friend who has crossed over. I realize how often this person's name escapes my lips. How there is a smile in this person's eyes and for some reason that smile can make me at peace and incredibly uncomfortable at the same time. More importantly, that if I'm at my wit's end just hearing this person's voice can completely calm me. This person is a rock star. I'm sitting in the front row.

I'm in like. It's not pretty - at all. It's not pretty because, first of all, who knows what this person's feelings for me are. I know they have ceased being pedestrian, but there are many variations of like. Although, I know for a fact that there is reciprocal "Like" going on... just which variation on that 4 letter word it is can be hard to tell. If it's the benign like of friendships, that's great. I like friends and will get over this giddy girl BS probably within the week. If it's more than that - that's great too. For now though, fantasy and flirting is more than enough, after all - that's the fun part. The magic that happens in one's head is always better than the reality that ensues, don't ya think?

So here's to Fact, Fiction, and Fantasy.

Smiles

When a mouth smiles, it doesn't always include the eyes.
When the eyes smile, the soul rejoices.

Happiness is not a warm gun...

Sometimes, especially when I'm in the middle of a series of anxiety attacks, I find it's hard to put a smile on my face. This is usually the time that I find myself trying to put a smile on the faces of others. Making someone else turn the corners of their lips upward can actually change my entire outlook on the day.

Saturday / Sunday nights are my most difficult days at work. Saturday nights my blood pressure can go from 0 to 60 in 2.4 seconds. There is no reason for me to state why this happens on this blog, just know that it does. Sunday nights are actually fun at work. Sunday nights are stress free up until the last show of the day. Sports Sunday is not a walk in the park to direct, I rarely get angry during that show, although occasionally the anchors will completely ignore me and that's wildly irritating. But, the truth is that the days of the week that most people are off and dealing with their every day lives, those are the days I work and am most stressed.

This Saturday was truly no exception. So, I started a gift giving process that started at 3pm and lasted until about Midnight. I gifted things to co-workers, my friends at the Spoke, and all of these gifts gave back to me. Making someone else smile, even for a short second, made me burst with happiness. Saturday included a ball of stress, during the day - so I started it out by giving people little gifts. Nothing outrageous, just something they'd like or something they needed. I had ordered some stuff for my friends at the bar that I was considering saving until Christmas, but I prefer to give gifts for no reason than to give a gift because I feel obligated to. I think the little presents I gave Natalie, Kelly, and Alex made me smile the most. Natalie seemed utterly confused as to why I'd give her a gift. Little does Natalie know that I'd rather work with her than a lot of the producers I know. Like me, she maintains a calm demeanor in the control room, even when things are at their worst. Kelly spent the night texting me thanks, and much like the commercial every time my phone received one confetti poured out of it. Alex looked like a 7 year old that just got the latest action figure, seriously.

The truth is, brightening someone else's day can make the sun shine in the middle of the darkest night. It doesn't take much, just something thoughtful. So go - gift something to someone. Then watch them smile - and notice you are smiling too.